


Pianissimo Delusion

by xenobia4



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Drunken Confessions, Drunken Kissing, Drunkenness, Inappropriate Behavior, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 02:47:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15985985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xenobia4/pseuds/xenobia4
Summary: Jaejoong bails on drinking with Junsu and Yoochun and winds up getting an unexpected guest.





	Pianissimo Delusion

**Author's Note:**

> It took me a long time to write a TVXQ fic after the disbandment.  
> I had this idea and I went with it.

Jaejoong yawned as he rolled over on the couch to grab his phone. He smirked when he saw it was a message from Junsu, telling him that he was “missing out” because “Yoochun got plastered.” The next thing from Jaejoong’s throat was a laugh at the picture that was sent next: Yoochun was sitting back on a couch with a glass in his hand, gold garland wrapped around like a scarf and holding a shoe up to his face as if it where a phone. That image was followed by another one with Yoochun giving Junsu the middle finger for taking a picture. Jaejoong texted back, asking how much Yoochun had and for Junsu to make sure he did not do something he would regret when sobriety hit.

Once the message sent, only a minute went by before Jaejoong’s phone began ringing, startling him. He swiped the bottom to answer it, yet, before he could even speak, he was interrupted by a drunken, “Jaejoong-ah! Why did you baaaiil~?” Yoochun’s voice broke over the phone. “We could have fun if you were here.”

“Gee, thanks for making me feel useful,” Junsu came through in the background. “Jaejoong! I can’t believe you’re making me deal with Yoochun by myself!”

Jaejoong started laughing, calling back through the phone, “Sorry!”

“No~ Jaejoong hyung doesn’t apologize,” Yoochun said, then followed it up with, “Junsu is being unfair….”

“ _I’m_ being unfair?!” Junsu yelled in the background. “You took all the patron!”

“Shhh—Jaejoong, I didn’t take his tequila. I took his rum. But shh~!! It’s a secret….”

Jaejoong’s laughter at Yoochun’s slurred words forced him to sit up and he began laughing harder when Junsu’s voice was heard yelling, “You took my rum, too?! Wait…no! Hyung! That stuff was expensive!” Jaejoong could hear grunts through the receiver, followed by a bang, as it was apparent Yoochun dropped his phone. Jaejoong got up from the couch, continuing to listen to his friends’ squabbling as he made his way to the kitchen. One of his cats was eating from its bowl, but walked off when he went down to pet it. As he stood back up, he leaned on the counter, trying not to laugh so he could hear Junsu’s and Yoochun’s drunken arguing of Junsu yelling at Yoochun for drinking his rum and Yoochun laughing about Junsu getting upset.

Finally, someone gained the phone and there was heavy breathing on the other end. “Jaejoong, can I ship you your friend?” Junsu asked, ignoring the sounds Yoochun was making in the back.

Jaejoong laughed again. “Only if you ship him without the alcohol.” Junsu sighed. “But don’t place all the blame. How much has Junsu had?”

There was silence on the other end.

Followed with, “Not as much as Yoochun.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

There was another long moment of silence.

“I…may have…finished the patron.”

“Ah! Junsu!” Jaejoong cried out before starting another round of mirth.

“I am freeee!” Yoochun was heard saying. “Junsu-ah…come back to me. I want to do something fun…. Since Jaejoong hyung won’t be nice to me.”

Jaejoong walked to the fridge an opened the door, grabbing a water jug. “Junsu, go take care of Yoochun.” He took a glass from the counter, holding the phone between his shoulder and ear as he poured a glass of water for himself.

Another sigh from Junsu, followed by a whine. “Fine….”

“Jaejoong! I love you!”

“I love you, too, Yoochun.” Jaejoong put the water jug back and shut the fridge as he picked his glass up. “Take care of each other, okay, Junsu?”

“All right, Eoma.” They both chuckled. “Love you, hyung.”

“Love you, Junsu.”

They both hung up.

Jaejoong released a sigh as he stared at the water. Maybe he should have gone over to Junsu’s and has some fun. It would have been more entertaining than watching movies all night. Granted, he wanted to have some down time for the first time in two weeks – a time to just kick back and unwind. It felt nice to have a night with nothing to do and nowhere to go, even if he was slightly regretting not joining his band mates and friends.  

Groaning, he shook his head, and headed back to the living room. His gray cat was sitting where he was laying earlier, causing him to frown. He set the water on the coffee table and moved to the couch, staring at his cat. “You stole my seat.” The cat just looked at him and shut its eyes. He picked up the cat and set them on his lap. “I’ll just take it back, then.” He started petting the cat and stared up at the still-blank television screen. He looked at the cat. “Want to watch _The Evil Stairs_?” He sighed and fell back on the couch. “You’re a horrible conversationalist.”

He stared up at the ceiling, debating on whether or not to put on another movie or call it a night and head off to bed. If he popped a Tramadol, he would be out within an hour, so it was something to debate. It was not too late to join Junsu and Yoochun, even if both of them were thoroughly intoxicated. Okay, maybe that would not have been the best bet, if for any reason, by the time he got there, the two of them would be passed out.

Suddenly, he heard a loud pounding.

The noise caused his cat to jump, making sure to claw his legs as it jumped off and ran out of the room. Jaejoong groaned and rolled his neck to look at the clock on the wall in the kitchen, then wondered who would be at his door at eleven at night. When the pounding continued, he cursed and stood up, walking out of the living room and down the hallway into the foyer. He tried to see who it was from outside of the window, but all he could see was someone’s shoulder and part of their arm.

He set his hand on the door as he unlocked it and grabbed the handle. He opened it only a bit before fully pulling it open, stunned at seeing a familiar face.

“Changmin?!”

Changmin was standing outside of his door, his hair a mess and clothes disheveled. His face was red and he was looking off to the side until he realized that the door was now opened.

“Changmin! What are you doing here?!” Jaejoong asked as Changmin held his left hand up and shook it, as though he was dismissing something entirely unrelated.

“I – I missed you, hyung….” He dropped his hand and tried to meet Jaejoong’s gaze with his obvious-swimming eyes.

At the expression, Jaejoong knitted his eyebrows together. “You didn’t _drive_ here, did you?” He tried to look around Changmin to see if his car was outside, but Changmin just shook his hand again, not looking at his old band mate as he did so. Jaejoong stood back up, eyeing the taller male. “Changmin. You can’t be here.”

Changmin finally got his eyes to meet Jaejoong’s and his eyebrows began to crease his forehead. His eyes started to glaze over, this time not due to the alcohol’s effects. The expression caused Jaejoong’s own to change to a look of curiosity and concern. “I really miss you…. I can’t – I can’t keep acting like everything is – is okay.” He stumbled forward into Jaejoong, taking him by surprise as he was suddenly forced to handle part of Changmin’s weight. However, instead of pushing himself off, Changmin wrapped his arms around Jaejoong’s back, hugging him. “Please come back, hyung.” He inhaled sharply.

Jaejoong chuckled lightly as he returned the embrace, though not as tightly as Changmin’s. “We both know I can’t do that.” He grabbed Changmin’s shoulders to push him up, which the younger star complied with, standing back up as he let his arms drop to his side after wiping his cheek. Jaejoong sighed and shook his head. “Come on. Get in here before someone sees and decides to get both of us in trouble.”

Changmin just nodded as Jaejoong stepped back to let him walk inside. Once the door was shut behind him, Changmin glanced around the foyer. Jaejoong walked passed him, beckoning him to follow into the living room, which the youngest did, swaying slightly as he did. Once in the living room, Changmin took another look around, commenting on how nice it looked. Jaejoong grabbed his arm and led him to the couch, which Changmin gratefully fell back on. He grabbed one of the pillows and hugged it against his chest as he watched Jaejoong walk around him towards the opened kitchen and open the fridge. Movement caught his eye as one of the cats jumped onto the coffee table and stared at him. Yet, it jumped down and ran off when he moved to see Jaejoong come back with a glass of water not a minute later.

Changmin accepted it, thanking him, but did not drink any.

He stared at the glass as he felt the couch shift to Jaejoong sitting down next to him.

“Changmin, while I’m happy to see you, how did you get here?” Jaejoong asked, reiterating his earlier question.

Changmin turned to look at him, eyes back to their swimming state. “A cab.”

Jaejoong did not verbally reply and nodded his head, seeming content with the answer. For the next few minutes, he just watched Changmin go back to staring as his glass, occasionally taking a sip, and then swirling it around in the glass. When it was empty, he began tilting it left and right, appearing as though he was desperate to say something, but not knowing how to say it. Even sitting, he was still somewhat swaying, so when Jaejoong stood up and held his hand out for the glass, Changmin gave it back and watched as Jaejoong walked back into the kitchen.

He set the glass on the counter and turned to open the fridge door. Yet, when he turned around, he jumped when he saw Changmin standing behind him and dropped the jug. It hit the floor, popping the lid as the container skidded across the floor and water spilled out everywhere. When he jerked his head to look at Changmin and ask what he was doing, he was caught off-guard even more by Changmin’s nearly vacant expression staring back at him; though it was more that Changmin appeared to be staring at his mouth.

“Chang—”

“I’m enlisting this year.”

Jaejoong immediately closed his mouth and pressed his eyebrows together. Changmin’s eyes darted up to briefly meet his. He tried to force an odd smile on his face, looking as though he was about to breakdown. “Yunho’s and my contracts will be up by then – by the time I get out.”

“Are you ready for that?” Jaejoong asked, starting to feel awkward with Changmin so close in front of him. The water on the floor was starting to seep through his socks, but he could not bring himself to move.

Changmin glanced down at the floor as he shrugged. “I don’t know. I just know that—” He cut himself off as he continued to stare at the floor, as though fixated on the water that was moving along it. His eyes darted when he noticed Jaejoong pick at his nails.

“Know what?”

The young Dong Bang Shin Ki member brought his gaze back up, trying to keep stable, despite is unbalanced equilibrium. “There are things that I…I still want to do.”

Jaejoong’s eyebrows rose as he finally felt the urge to move away from the awkward closeness and out of the puddle of water he was now standing in. “Like what?” He went to move around Changmin to get a dishtowel, but found himself being stopped short when Changmin grabbed his left wrist and pulled him in. Jaejoong could not even get a word out as Changmin held Jaejoong’s face with his left hand, making sure to keep a firm grip on Jaejoong’s wrist with his right, as he leaned down to press their mouths together. The initial shock had Jaejoong freeze, which Changmin seemed to take as an invitation to push himself more and push his tongue into his elder’s mouth as he released Jaejoong’s wrist and grabbed his upper arm. Jaejoong clamped his eyes shut as he grabbed Changmin’s shoulder and went to push him back. He had to give more force than he initially thought, but broke away and stepped back, eyes now wide.

“Changmin! What are you doing?!” His heart pounded against his chest as he watched Changmin’s face contort as though he was in pain and his eyes weal up. 

He shook his head as his face became redder than it had been, tears finally slipping down his face. “I love you, Jaejoong.” His voice cracked, making him sound as though he reverted back five years. “I really love you and I don’t want to miss you, anymore….”

Jaejoong clamped down on his jaw as he swallowed. His breath was starting to quicken and he seemed to search around for something, trying to occupy himself with something so he could avoid eye contact. He spotted the empty container against the wall right outside of the kitchen and moved to pick it up. What he did not expect was for Changmin to follow him again, but he could sense him, this time. He turned and was caught in an unexpected embrace and Changmin’s chest heaving. “Please, hyung. I love you. Please don’t reject me….”

Jaejoong set his hands on Changmin’s shoulders. “Changmin…. I love you, too. Just…not in that way, you know?”

Changmin jerked up, staying slightly hunched so he met Jaejoong’s height as his expression suddenly turned aggravated. “Why?!” he yelled, moving his hands to grab Jaejoong’s forearms. “Why can’t you love me in that way, hyung?!”

Jaejoong shook his head, heart racing even faster as he started to grow close to panic. He opened his mouth, words sputtering out. “I – you’re – it’s—”

“Is it because of Yunho?!”

Again, Jaejoong froze, expression in shock as he just stared at Changmin. It seemed to take him a moment to register the angry expression growing more apparent on his friend’s face, but when it did, he tried to step back, but Changmin’s grip was holding him in place.

“It is!” Changmin’s hands moved up to his forearms as he pulled Jaejoong closer. “I can treat you better than he did, Jaejoong! I can be there for you!”

Jaejoong shook his head as he tried to keep himself calm. He set his hand on Changmin’s arm. “Changmin,” he said slowly, eyes locking. “You’re not yourself, right now. You’re drunk and you need to go home.” Changmin clenched down on his jaw. “Now let me go so I can call you a cab, okay?”

Changmin looked off to the side, eyebrows furrowed, as he seemed to contemplate the offer. Jaejoong lightly squeezed Changmin’s wrist, but Changmin started to slowly shake his head before beginning to shake it roughly. His grip tightened and he pressed Jaejoong against the wall as he forced his mouth back on Jaejoong’s. Immediately, Jaejoong began trying to push Changmin off of him, but Changmin paid no heed and began kissing and sucking on his neck.

“Changmin! Stop!”

The only response he got was Changmin’s teeth biting down on the skin on his neck, causing a slight pain. When Changmin’s hand moved from gripping his upper arm to pressing and running across his chest, Jaejoong’s breath hitched and he shut his eyes, shaking his head. “Changmin…please…please don’t do this….”

A tremor ran through him as he inhaled and held his breath.

Then he felt Changmin stop and set his head in the nape of his neck. Jaejoong opened his eyes as Changmin shook.

“I’m sorry, hyung…,” Changmin said barely above a whisper. His breath hitched in his throat and his grip on Jaejoong’s arm loosened. “I’m so sorry.” He inhaled a stifled cry as his body started to quake. “Please don’t hate me….” Jaejoong relaxed and released the breath he had been holding. Looking at Changmin, he brought his arms up and wrapped them around his friend’s shoulders.

“I could never hate you. You know that.” He released an airy laugh in an attempt to diffuse the thick air surrounding them. He ran his fingers through the younger male’s hair. “Silly….”

Changmin lightly wrapped his arms around Jaejoong’s waist as he continued to breakdown. “I’m so sorry, Jaejoong hyung. I just love you so much. I don’t want to be rejected by you.”

Jaejoong rubbed his back, releasing a string of air. “I’m not rejecting you. You have a lot of love to give – it’s because you’re so big, so you have a big heart.” He pushed Changmin to stand straight, but Changmin’s red and tear-stained face stared at the floor. “Changmin, look at me.” The younger male inhaled and glanced up, but avoided Jaejoong’s eyes and, instead, stared at his mouth. “You’re a kind person. A little crazy sometimes, but a loving person.” Changmin exhaled a slight laugh, which got a smile from Jaejoong. “So stay smiling, okay?” Changmin nodded and brought his hand up to wipe his face. He attempted to force a smile, which Jaejoong took and rubbed Changmin’s arms. “Okay?” he asked again, which had Changmin nodding more prevalently.

“Yeah. Okay.”

Jaejoong smiled. “That’s the Changmin I know. Now, why don’t you sleep here tonight and you can go back in the morning?” Again, Changmin nodded. “Okay. Now come on.” He patted his friend’s shoulder and moved around him, leaving the water jug on the floor as he led Changmin to the spare bedroom. Changmin inhaled again, then rubbed his eyes and wiped his face one more time before following after Jaejoong, feeling a bit more sober than he felt when he had arrived.


End file.
